Opinion: Some Merits of Being Disliked
Several insightful things have been said on the benefits of being liked, yet not so much on the merits of being disliked. Seneca who offered some very profound thoughts on friendship also said “what difference does it make, after all, what your position in life is if you dislike it yourself?” (Letters from a Stoic. Trans. Robin Campbell. London: Penguin, 2004, (Letter IX) p. 53). And in my view, this ought to be the standard for all relationships. For the sentiment that is most worrisome doesn’t come to us from external sources, but from within. It can be put simply as: do you like yourself? To answer affirmatively is wonderful but it also takes courage to answer in the negative. Knowing the answer to this question helps us understand how we relate to others and helps us judge the weight of their feelings for us. For instance, if you don’t like yourself you may establish a habit of befriending others through whom you can punish yourself. Or if you like yourself, you might have the h…
